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MOTHERHOOD AND MAYHEM: CBCA CONFERENCE 2014

23 May 2014

I was thrilled to be invited to talk on a panel of local authors — billed as ‘local treasures’ no less — at the National Conference of the Children’s Book Council of Australia. Motherhood and Mayhem was our topic — with three kids aged three to almost 11 could there be any literary panel more perfectly aligned with my life?

What any of us said on the day is a bit of a blur. There were lots of laughs, I remember that. And it was a joy to share the stage with Tania McCartney (Chair), Stephanie Owen Reeder and Tracey Hawkins. I somehow managed to cleverly position myself in front of the wine (what we all need at the end of the day) and perhaps not so cleverly in front of Tracey’s body parts (she’s an ex-cop and has been known to take inspiration from her former life).

I’ve never seen a panel on this topic before but last year when the four of us started discussing what we might do it seemed like an obvious choice. There are so many women out there trying to balance the need to write with the needs of family. And both are needs. If only the washing did itself, or writing paid enough to hire an in-house chef. One can dream.

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The question we all constantly get asked is, ‘How do you do it?’ I’m still not sure that I have an answer. What I do know is that I never stop. And I’ve got very good at wearing blinkers to shield me from the housework when I have a precious hour or two in which to write.

The response to the panel was wonderful (and to the lady who said that I don’t look old enough to have an 11 year old — bless you a thousand times!). We knew when we were planning our topic that everyone could relate in some way or another to the challenges of multitasking. Lots of the teacher librarians came up to say that the whole juggling act was familiar territory managing classes of children. And then there were the mother/writers who sat in the audience nodding in recognition.

I stumbled across this summary of the conference and love that we get a mention under the heading ‘Cool Canberra author chicks’! Angela Moyle goes on to say, ‘What a revelation!…These awesome ladies…have inspired me to make the time to write, and stop making excuses!’ Well now, that just makes me happy.

A good year

15 December 2012

thesoundofsilencelargeTWO STEPS FORWARDLast Thursday the annual ACT Writing and Publishing Awards were held in the Mercure Hotel and I had two books shortlisted in two categories. The Sound of Silence for Nonfiction and Two Steps Forward for Fiction. Pretty nice, huh?

First up was the announcement of the Nonfiction Award. An anthology about miscarriage seemed an unlikely winner, but win it did. The judges said: ‘The Sound of Silence was the stand-out winner on every level. This book proved to be compellingly readable, boasted good production design and evidenced careful, respectful editing. Although neither of the judges initially expected to be taken by this volume, both ultimately found it absorbing and uplifting. The writing was of the highest quality and deserves a readership well beyond its niche market. In short: An inspirational book and a clear winner.’

Their assessment recognises so many aspects of the book. For me, editing The Sound of Silence was a privilege. Many of the 22 writers had not previously been published, but they worked with me through the lengthy editing process with such grace and enthusiasm. This award acknowledges their strength and courage in telling stories that will help others affected by miscarriage.

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Having collected my award (including a Paperchain Bookstore voucher that has already disappeared), it was straight onto the announcement of the fiction category. This time Two Steps Forward didn’t win, but the judges’ comments were generous nevertheless. They said: ‘A strong point of this anthology is the characters, who were beautifully drawn in a lyrical and evocative style. It would be interesting to see how this writer would develop characters over a longer work. The pace is well maintained, with each story engaging, fresh and avoiding sameness in plot, although the overall sadness is a hallmark. Each story is a complete experience on its own, and this writer has a distinctive, lyrical style that is a standout.’

Nigel Featherstone took out the award for his novella Fall on Me, and I couldn’t have ‘lost’ to a more lovely and deserving person. Inverted commas are necessary because nothing felt like losing that night; it was wins all round.

What with these awards, Two Steps Forward being shortlisted for SPUNC’s inaugural Most Underrated Book Award, and publication of The Invisible Thread, 2012 has been a good year. I think a celebratory glass of champagne is in order.

The winning and shortlisted authors (L-R): Fiona Hamer, Nigel Featherstone, Irma Gold, Tracey Hawkins, Hazel Hall, Ann Villiers. Photo courtesy of the ACT Writers Centre.

The winning and shortlisted authors (L-R): Fiona Hamer, Nigel Featherstone, Irma Gold, Tracey Hawkins, Hazel Hall, Ann Villiers. Photo courtesy of the ACT Writers Centre.

UP FOR AN AWARD

25 November 2012

thesoundofsilencelargeA lovely bit of news. The Sound of Silence has been shortlisted for the ACT Writing and Publishing Awards (Nonfiction). A big thank you to the 22 women who so bravely shared their stories of miscarriage and prevailed with me through the lengthy editing process. It seems it was all worth it. Given that miscarriage is a subject that is not openly discussed it’s great to have another platform to bring the book to the public’s attention. The award winners will be announced in December. Keep your fingers crossed for us! You can read more about the book here.

This collection of stories is achingly beautiful.  Parenting Express

Deeply moving and honest…We all can benefit from the wisdom and experience of the stories captured and shared here.  Birth Psychology, journal of the American Association of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQXM1bqywO0

Today is the day

28 June 2012

thesoundofsilencelargeToday is Red Nose Day, a day to raise funds to help to save the lives of babies and support bereaved families of miscarriage, neonatal and infant death. So it seems like an appropriate moment to reflect on how The Sound of Silence, a collection of women’s stories about miscarriage, has been received. It was published nine months ago (I’m sure you see the irony) and the response has been everything we hoped it would be and more.

Editing this book was an emotional experience and the launches in Canberra and Melbourne were unlike any others I have attended. At both of them strangers — women and men, mothers and fathers, grandmothers and sisters — came up to me to tell me their intensely personal stories of loss, the reasons why they had come to these launches to buy this book.

Since then I have received many emails from readers thanking me for the anthology and telling me how it has helped them. These messages have been humbling. Like this one from Charmian:

I have just sat and read this book from cover to cover! As a mum of two (six, including my angel babies) these stories touched my heart and soul in a way that no other books about pregnancy loss have. I experienced miscarriages when none in my circle of friends had, and felt alone as I waded through loss and grief. The final three miscarriages were particularly hard, given they all occurred in seven months. We have not gone on to have more babies, and I still feel my family is not quite complete. Thanks again for this wonderful resource.

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And this one from Justine:

I have just finished reading The Sound of Silence. I must admit it sat on my bedside table for a couple of days before I found the courage to open it. I was anxious about the emotions it might stir up within me. It is a brilliant book, it allowed me to realise I am not alone in my grief and the feelings experienced are so normal.

One of my regrets is that despite our best efforts to encourage submissions from men we did not receive any. Men are often forgotten in the grief of miscarriage, so I was disappointed that we weren’t able to represent their stories and perspectives. It was, however, heartening to receive emails from men, like this one:

Thank you for publishing The Sound of Silence. While it is mostly written for females, it is also an excellent book for (potential) fathers to read as well — some of them also experience similar emotional symptoms when their partner miscarries 🙁

When I wrote a post for Mamamia about the anthology and my own miscarriage it received an overwhelming number of comments. There are so many women and men out there who need to talk about their experiences. Today I’m remembering Rafael, the baby I miscarried at twelve weeks. I no longer feel sad about his loss, but blessed that he was, and is still, a part of our family. I am also thankful for the three beautiful children I was able to bring into this world, and conscious that there are many couples who are not so fortunate. These stories are the ones that break my heart the most.

At the Melbourne launch a woman told me about her daughter who she has watched go through seven pregnancies, none of which have made it to term. As she told me this story, and the emotional toll it has taken on them all, she wept for her daughter and her lost grandbabies. Her story is one of many. If you know someone who has had a miscarriage, who may still be struggling through grief, today is the day to reach out. All it takes is a simple ‘How are you?’ and the willingness to listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQXM1bqywO0